Were You Raised By Wolves?!?!

"On the beach, you can live in bliss." 

~ Dennis Wilson~ 

I like watching people.  Human behavior interests me.  But sometimes, I just want to sit in a chair on a beach and have humanity leave me alone.  Today was one of those days. 

So, today I went to the beach.  It seems today was tween/young teen day at the beach.  There were lots of what looked to be 12, 13, 14 year olds, wandering around, unattended by adults.  And were they ever rude and inconsiderate of the adults around them.  Lots of yelling, running, and just general rudeness going on. 

There was one group, three boys, three girls, that decided to park themselves right next to my blanket and chair.  They threw their things to the ground, began kicking sand and yelling at each other.  Joyfully yelling at each other, but yelling none the less.  And the sand.  Dust kicking up every where, I could feel the fine layer settling on my Coppertone greased skin.  Yea.  

Then the girls decided to run off to the bathroom.  I was in the way of the bathroom.  My blanket had blown over on itself thanks to the wind, and so, instead of walking around my blanket, what did one of the girls decide to do?  Yup, she jumped over my blanket.  Really.  With me sitting right there in a chair at the edge of my blanket.  I lowered my sunglasses and stared at her two friends who were getting ready to do the same.  I must have given them some look, one of the remaining two said "We'll go around".  Hahaha.  

Then there were the little ones.  All full of joy to be at the beach.  Running 50 miles per hour back and forth across the sands, spreading love wherever they go.  Or sand.  Lots of sand, wherever the go.  And the parents, who see them kicking great big billows of sand onto all those around them?  Nothing.  Not a peep.  Really?!?!

And then you have the screamers.  Sometimes that means kids, other times that means adults.  The moms who take their kids to the beach, for what one would think would be the intention of having a fun day and making memories and all that sweet, sugary stuff, but in reality, the moms are harried and tired of being moms so they just scream at their kids the whole time they are there.  That's fun to listen to.  

Then you have the kid screamers.  The ones who scream for fun, the ones who scream at people 100 yards away because they can't seem to walk there, and the ones who scream because their mom tells them no, for the 100th time.  

Yikes!  When did we stop caring how our actions affect others?  I was never one to let my children be rude and unruly in public.  I always made sure they realized that sometimes, our actions can upset other people and we should always try to be courteous of others.  My girls knew not to run by people on a beach because running kicks up sand.  The knew better than to scream at me or each other from the water to the sand.  They certainly knew not to jump over someone else's stuff.  

As a mom, I tried really, really hard to never yell at or shame my kids in public.  There are lots of moms out there who seem to never have learned that lesson.  

I have written about bad moms before here, and about the sad state of humanity here and here.  So I guess this is a running theme with me.  I'm just so easily annoyed about things that seem like common courtesy to me.  

Maybe it's aging.  Maybe I'm just less tolerant the older I get.  I actually sympathize with the people who want kid free restaurants and flights.

But I don't blame the kids, really.  Not the young ones anyway.  I blame the parents.  By teens, even though teens to be very self absorbed, one would think they should have the where with all to know when they are annoying people.  But little kids, they only know what they see or have been taught, and for that, the parents are at fault. 

Blame.  Someone has to be blamed, right?  They ruined my day at the beach.  But so did the sun, it chose not to shine.  But that's a sad story for another grumpy day.  

“When one's expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have” 

~Stephen Hawking~   

Self-Absorbed Much?

I know it's Thankfulness Thursday, but I know I'll feel better if I get the following off my chest! I'll return to Thursday's regularly scheduled program next week ; )

I've noticed a lot of people lately who are very self-absorbed. I've known people like this in my own life (my sister's husband, for instance), but I've begun to notice it in strangers lately. It seems to be a growing epidemic, people who just pay no mind to the people around them, making sure only their needs are attended to without regard for those around them.

My first instance of this is people who walk off sidewalks to cross streets and don't look both ways. I have seen 1/2 a dozen people in the last month or so do this. They leave a store and just start walking. Straight out into the road, no look to the left or right, just "I'm a pedestrian, and I have the right of way, and you'd better slow down and not hit me" attitude written all over their face. Now I realize as the driver I do need to yield to pedestrians, but come on. I've had to slam on my brakes twice in the last 2 weeks to avoid someone who popped out in front of me, and they never even glanced my way as they strolled past my car. Who does this? (Obviously these people!)

Then there are the people who drive 10 miles under the speed limit because they are on their cell phones or trying to text. It is so infuriating to be behind someone and you can see them looking down, or with the phone to their ear, and they are just moseying along like the road is theirs and nothing matters but their time. Hang up and drive. When you are driving nothing is more important than safety on the road. Those people who walk off curbs without looking might just jump in front of your car, then you'll be screwed.

Then there's the grocery store. You know those people who park their carts right in the middle of the aisle so there is no way to pass them. So you pull up behind their cart, thinking they must see you, thinking they will move their cart sometime today. But no, they continue to stare at the salad dressing while you clear your throat, shift your feet, wonder what the hell is wrong with this person! So then you must ask the person to move or you'll be trapped in the store forever. And then they have the gonads to glare at you and act like YOU'RE inconveniencing them. That's right I forgot, the world revolves around them and I am but a gnat in their world.

Yesterday, while at my local Jewel (a grocery store for those not in the Midwest) I was checking out. My bagger decided 1/2 way through bagging my order to wander off and do something else (must have that self-absorbed gene) so I went to the end of the counter to start bagging my stuff myself to help expedite my exit from the store. I had left my wallet on the little shelf they provide to put your wallet on while you pay. My groceries were still being rung up. Well, the woman behind me decided to push my cart out of the check out line, and push my wallet off the little desk thing and take up residence in the spot I would normally stand in while I write a check to pay. I had fully intended on going back to that spot after helping to bag my groceries. Any normal person would have realized this. It was so bizarre. The checker and I both looked at this woman like WTF? I really was at a loss about what to say to her (my witty comments always come after the fact). I ended up having to reach up from the end of the counter to grab my check book and had to write the check from where I was. It was all so very bizarre. The woman didn't even look at me, just settled herself in the spot where I had been standing just seconds before, and decided it was her time to be there, had her checkbook out, already filling out her check and her order hadn't even been started yet.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE???????

How hard is it take a second and think about how your actions might affect someone else before you take that action? Weren't we taught this growing up? Isn't anyone teaching this to their children? And it's not just young kids acting this way. The woman at the checkout was probably older than me. People I see on their cell phones while driving tend to be all ages (although the text-ers seem to be young). It's called common courtesy people. Do unto others, yadda, yadda, yadda!

I see it as the beginning of the fall of society. And I do think an awful lot of it comes from the entitlement mentality that unfortunatley our current government is enabling. That's a whole other blog post, but you get it. Tell me you get it, please! Tell me you don't walk in front of cars without looking, that you don't text and drive, that you only use your cell phones for emergencies while driving, that you don't park your cart in the middle of the grocery aisle! I need some faith in humanity!

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use.
~Emily Post~

People Annoy Me

I know I shouldn't let little things bother me, but they do, especially when my hormones are active!

One of biggest pet peeves is people who talk on their cell phone and drive. I'm sorry, but unless it's an emergency, you don't need to be on the phone while you drive. I want you watching the road, holding the wheel, making sure you know how to work the gas and brake, not making a nail appointment or chit chatting about what your daughter is wearing to the prom. Especially if you are in front of me. Especially if you pull out in front of me and have no clue what the speed limit is.

Tonight, on my way home from the grocery store this very thing happened. A woman (men do it too, so you're not off the hook) pulled out in front of me. I was close enough that I had to slam on the brakes. Then she proceeded to drive about 10 miles per hour under the limit, and of course she was on her phone. I had my window open, so I screamed "Hang up and drive!" but I don't think she heard me. And thankfully I only had to follow her 1/2 a mile or so before I had to turn off, or some severe road rage may have ensued.

I am pretty Libertarian in my views, I am ok to live and let live most of the time and I don't think we need a law for everything, BUT............I am ok with laws banning cell phones while driving. I think it makes perfect sense. One really should be concentrating on the road, there are so many idiot drivers out there, even if you are one, you should be watching out for the other ones. I know when I am talking on the phone at home I've burned dinner, I've ignored my children and I can even miss 1/2 of what Sonny says on General Hospital. So how is it if I miss all these things while talking on the phone at home that I would be perfectly fine talking while driving? It isn't, and I don't care who you are (channeling Larry the cable guy), you get distracted while talking on the phone. So don't talk and drive dammit! But if you decide to anyway, watch out for the pms'ing woman in the blue van, and whatever you do, do not pull out in front of her while on your cell phone. You may be sorry.

Oh, wouldn't the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at?

~W.S. Gilbert~

The Poor Animals

God made all the creatures and gave them our love and our fear,To give sign, we and they are His children, one family here.

~Robert Browning~

I started a new volunteering job yesterday. I have worked with a local Humane organization, AOHS, for a few years now. I started out helping them with their annual dinner/fundraiser, and then my daughters and I volunteered to clean cages and socialize kitties that they keep at local Petsmart stores. (They are rotated in and out of the stores if they don't get adopted quickly, so they aren't in cages forever.) This organization does not have a shelter. Cats are kept in foster homes and brought to local pet stores for adoption events.

Anyway, after I had to deal with my leg issues last winter, I had to stop cleaning the cages for a while. Recently they posted that they needed someone to help answer calls for their relinquish line. This is the number people call if they have found cats or want to get rid of the ones they currently own. There's a woman who has done this by herself for quite a while, and she needed a few days off each week. So I agreed to answer the calls on Monday's and Tuesday's.

Basically all I have to do is call into the mailbox, listen to the messages, call the people back and try to offer them solutions and then log the call online. I just started this yesterday and I am already losing faith in mankind!

I have taken 14 calls in the last two days. There was a call from a woman who said her neighbor moved out 2 days ago and left their cats behind. An unfixed adult male and female, and a kitten. (Wonder why there was a kitten? (Hello, ever heard of spay and neuter?) She and some neighbors were feeding the cats, but didn't think they should be left outside. We were able to take the kitten and place it into one of our foster homes with another litter, the 2 adults will have to go to the local animal control where they may or may not get euthanized. Who moves and leaves their animals behind????? Too many people unfortunately.

Another woman had a 5 year old Purebred Angora cat. She'd had it for all it's life, but has just now decided that since it doesn't get along well with her other cats, she doesn't want it anymore. How can you just stop caring for an animal you've had for 5 years? It didn't have behavior problems, just didn't like the other cats in the house. I was able to pass her off to a breed rescue, but I feel sorry for that cat, who has to leave it's home, because the owner just grew tired of her.

There were several calls from people who were moving and didn't want to take their cats with them. Is it the cats fault that their owners had to move? I gave them suggestions of other shelters to call, suggested asking friends and relatives to take them, or even putting an ad in the paper. I begged them to not just leave their cats behind if they can't find them homes. Better to call the local animal control, then leave them defenseless and starving.

Another woman called to say she had found a cat, fixed and de-clawed, friendly, appeared to be a happy house cat. She had it in her garage. She had already called the police and other shelters to see if someone reported it missing. No one had. There was nothing wrong with this cat! Could this be another move and throw away?

I am saddened by what I learned in just the last 2 days. The other woman who answers the line did tell me this could be depressing. It isn't so much depressing as it is infuriating. Animals bond to us, they have feelings. I have taken in two strays and they are so much more appreciative of their lot than my two pampered purebreeds. It is as if they know they almost didn't have a chance and we gave them one. One of my strays was a fixed and de-clawed cat that was obviously someones at one point. I wonder if his owner moved away and decided to throw him to the wolves, so to speak. He was skin and bones when we found him, so we know he was out a while.

I want to take these people and kick them to the curb for a few days and see how they feel? Let them stay out in the rain and have to scrounge for food. How can you reach people who think animals are disposable? It's obviously not easy seeing as homeless animals are a huge problem for society. We have at least 4 shelter based rescues in our county, and our local animal control. All of them are full at this time. Hundreds of animals with no one to adopt them, and more out on the streets with no where to go. I hope I am doing my small part by helping take these calls. I did convince one woman to keep a kitten that was left behind when a man was evicted from his home. I spoke with another woman who was overwhelmed at the thought of moving to Florida and driving her cats down there. I told her how she could manage in the car, what she would have to do. I tried to persuade her to keep her cats. She at least said she'd think about it.
I'm only one person. but I'm doing my best. I'm not even hoping for everyone else to their best, but I wish they would at least agree to continue to care for the animals they brought into their homes.

If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.

~St. Francis of Assisi~

People Are Strange

If we had no faults of our own, we would not take so much pleasure in noticing those of others.

~Francois duc de la Rochefoucauld~

I had quite a few opportunities yesterday to do some people watching. Thought I would share my observations.

First, my youngest daughter is taking sailing lessons, so my oldest daughter and I decided to stay at the beach during the class time. The beach is a great place to people watch. My first observation was of some teens that should not have been wearing the swimsuits they were wearing. A few were so skimpy, they might as well have had nothing on. These girls looked to be 8th grade or so. I have an almost 8th grader, so I think I am a fairly good judge of age. These girls were acting way beyond their years sexually if you know what I mean. And the Jr. High boys with the overactive hormones they were hanging with seemed to only have eyes for their bods. Then there were the few girls wearing the same types of suits that they did not have the body for. More power to them if they are that confident in their body, but when the swimsuit looks two sizes too small, and you are bulging out all over, it might be time to re-think what you're wearing. I don't think we need to be Amish a the beach, but a little decency goes a long way in my book. I don't want to watch your 13 year old strutting around the beach like she's God's gift to all Jr. High boys, and then have to watch the boys molest your daughters with their eyes. And I don't want to have to watch the poor chubby girls falling out of their barely covering swimsuits, trying hopelessly to keep up with the skimpy thin girls. Where are these girls mothers? Do they know what their daughters are doing at the beach?

After the beach I went to the grocery store. As I was walking in there was a lady just finishing putting her groceries in her car. She had one of the closest spots to the entrance. She appeared to be 50ish, appeared to be in good health and appeared to be well off. She was driving a very nice car and was very well dressed. When she finished loading her car, she looked around to see where the cart corral was so she could put her cart away. The nearest corral to her was probably 50 feet away. Maybe a little more, but not far at all. Well, she must have decided it was too far, because she pushed her cart into the handicapped spot next to her car and left it there. This kind of stuff bugs the crap out of me. I had parked pretty far back in the parking lot. It was a beautiful day yesterday. It took me 3-4 times as long to get into the store from my car than it would've been for her to walk to that stupid cart corral. She didn't have any kids with her, like I said she appeared to be in good health. She wasn't parked in the handicapped parking. What is wrong with people? How hard is it to put a cart away? I can understand if it is pouring rain or freezing cold or if you have babies or little ones with you, but none of that applied. I wanted to ask her why she couldn't walk the darn cart to the corral. But I didn't. I should start asking these questions of people's stupid behavior, because they bug me. And I did grab that cart out of the handicapped spot and walk it into the store.

In the store is a whole other world of people watching. I just love the people that pull down the tops of EVERY SINGLE EAR of CORN to see how fresh it is and to find the PERFECT one. So when I want to buy some corn, they are all open and dried out. Maybe you are one of those people, but it is a habit that drives me crazy. How often do you open up an ear of corn that is bad? I don't pull down corn to find good ones, and I have an almost 100% success rate with bringing home decent corn. Or the people that stand in the middle of the aisle, staring at the soup say, for what seems an eternity, and won't move over for you. I will usually wait a minute, and then ask politely if I can get by. Most people move, but then you get the ones who just won't. I've had people tell me they'll be done in a minute. Well, in a minute I could be up and down the next aisle. Usually at the point I'll just turn around. How hard is it to move out of the way? Where do these people get their sense of entitlement and the feeling they are more important than the rest of us? What is up with that? Why are some people just so rude?

My last observation of the day was made at the Emergency vets office. One of my cats got into a scuffle yesterday. He came home with a puncture in his paw, and scratches around his head. I wanted to avoid the ER vet if I could, but he seemed to be in pain and I didn't want to have to worry all night. So around 8pm I am off to the Vet ER. When I arrive two other people are ahead of me. One was a woman with her 2 daughters. (Their dog rolled off the bed and hurt his paw, nothing too serious.) One of the girls appeared to be 6 or so, the other maybe 11 or 12. Both girls were small, thin, pretty girls. Mom was average height, not too thin, appeared to be pretty fit. While they are waiting to check out the oldest one starts lifting up her shirt and patting her stomach. Remember, she is a thin girl, no bulge there. She starts telling her mom how fat she is getting. Patting her now showing stomach and whining about how bad she looks. So her mom turns to her and tells her to do something about it. Watch what you're eating and start working out more. Mom didn't say exercise, she said working out. This girl was thin. I saw an eating disorder in the making. The message itself wasn't a bad one....working out and eating well are good things. But when your thin daughter tells you how fat she is getting, is that the first thing you should say to her? What is wrong with some of these moms? Are they just clueless?

Now I am not saying I am perfect. Far from it. And I suppose someone watching me may think I am weird. But I don't think I am rude, I put my carts away and wear decent swimsuits at the beach (as do my daughters). And I work really hard to let my daughters know that they are fine at any size, health is what is important. So am I just easily annoyed, or do the weird things people do and say bug you too?