Changes and Choices

The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.  

~William Blake~
 

 A strange thing has been happening to me lately.  I am constantly re-thinking all the choices I have made in my life thus far.  I think I will blog about these as the whim hits me. 

Todays' topic:  Choices I have made in regards to my children education. 

Oh how idealistic we can be when we are young, when we are new parents, when everything in our lives is fresh and new.  

When a person has a baby, at least this happened for me, education was the furthest thing from my mind.  But around the time my eldest turned 2 and I was heavy with my 2nd daughter, it occurred to me that one day this child is going to have to go to school.  Panic ensued, as I never wanted to be without my daughters.  

I did end up enrolling my 2 1/2 year old in a Montessori pre-school that I eventually ended up working for, (to pay for the tuition and because I did not like being away from my daughters).  My youngest daughter would end up going there as well.  

Now had I been independently wealthy, the story would end here.  I loved Montessori.  My eldest (Carley) moved on to a Montessori grade school while my youngest (Catherine) finished up at the pre-school where I worked (and bartered for tuition).  Once Catherine was out of the pre-school and my job was over, I just could not afford the tuition at the Montessori grade school.  A change had to be made.  Public School?  Egads no.  Catholic school?  I was no longer a practicing Catholic so that seemed hypocritical. Structured school in general was not a choice I wanted to make at all.  Homeschooling, that's what it had to be.  

At that time I knew very little about homeschooling.  So I went to the library and checked out every book on homeschooling I could find.  I read about school at home, unit studies, relaxed homeschooling, unschooling, etc., etc.  I talked with other homeschool moms and eventually came up with a philosophy I thought would fit our family.  

First philosophy:  School at home.  I bought a full curriculum.  We sat at the dining room table and did X number of pages of work per day.  Started in September, just like school.  By Christmas I wanted to kill myself.  This style wasn't for us.  

Then we went to a relaxed school at home.  Some days we worked in books, some days we went to the park and the library.  Some days we watched videos.  But I still led the day and tried to keep some structure.  I also added unit studies into this, KONOS, which my girls enjoyed but it required a lot of work and prep on my part. 

As time went on the girls wanted less and less to do with structure, and we drifted into unschooling.  I did continue to buy curriculum for a time, but only  curriculum that the girls wanted. If one wanted a science curriculum, I bought it, if one wanted English, I bought it.  But it was up to them to decide to work on it.  I wasn't going to push them anymore.  During this time we also did Sonlight.  My girls really enjoyed Sonlight, because frankly, there wasn't much for them to do.  They read some books and I read some books to them.  And then we'd discuss some vocabulary words.  Both girls really enjoy books and reading, so this wasn't a chore for them. 

As my girls got closer to those tween years, between 10 and 12, they wanted even less to do with anything structured and frankly so did I.  Hormones were swinging wildly, we were involved in a co-op, and everything I had read about unschooling made me think the girls would be just fine if I left them to their own devices.  So I did.  Of course I was always here, willing to take them here or there, willing to help them learn something or figure out a way to learn something, they knew they could count on me for anything, but the learning was left up to them.  

When my eldest was around 12 she started asking about going to school.  I had already pre-decided she was never going to Junior high, 1) because I hated junior high, 2) because I heard horrible things about what goes on in junior high (bullying and sex) and 3) I still wanted her home.   Looking back, only one of those is really a valid reason.  

So I told Carley we would re-visit the school issue with high school.  I was hoping she would decide she loved home and me so much she'd never want to go.  I was wrong.  She starts her junior year of high school next month.  

I thought school was going to be a nightmare.  I thought Carley would hate it, that she'd decide to quit and come home (an option she knew she had whenever she wanted it).  She didn't.  She loves it.  Ok, maybe love is a strong word, but she really, really likes it.  She likes to be taught.  By someone other than me.  She likes to learn, the kinds of things they teach in books and schools.  She is a perfect student. During her previous two years in high school she has made the honor roll each semester. Not bad for an unschooled homeschooler. 

Now Catherine, my youngest, the one who I thought really thrived in unschooling, has also decided she wants to try high school.  She wants to see what it's like, wants to see if she's missing something.  When everyone around you is doing something, it makes you want to maybe try it too.  Especially if you are a teen. (Ok, we aren't talking about sex, drugs and alcohol here!) 

  There are also classes at the high school that Catherine thinks sound interesting.  Fashion and World History being two of them.  And while we could have learned Fashion and World History at home, somehow it just seems more interesting doing it with other people who share the same interest as you.  Catherine has the same option as Carley, she is free to leave school at any time.  She has already decided that while she may decide not to go full time, she pretty much knows she wants to stay in at least part time.

So my (eventually) unschooled daughters, whom I taught had the world at their fingertips and the freedom to do as they please and learn what they please, have in the end, decided the structure of public school is what they want.  Hahahahahaha.  Jokes on me.

But after having had some time to process it, I am now surprisingly Ok with it.  I made choices for them when they were small based on my own life experiences and research.  That's all a parent can do.  We do what we think is best.  No one knows what is best, it's all speculation.  We are not our children, we are not in their heads, they are not our mini me's.  We have to be comfortable as a parent, eventually letting our children be who they are meant to be.  And if that is someone wholly different than who we are, we need to love them anyway.  That's what it means to be a parent. 

I know homeschoolers who would be upset if their children didn't grow up and homeschool their grandchildren.  They take it as some personal affront if their children want to do something different. I also know homeschoolers who think I must have done something wrong to make my children want to choose school. I think I must have actually done something right.  My children are making the choice they think is right for them.  I am giving them the right to make that choice.   How many other teens ever get to choose the direction of their lives?  Most kids live with their lives planned out for them.  They WILL do this, they WILL go there, etc, etc., ad nauseum until they move out.  Yes, I made some of those decisions for my children when they were young, but now as teenagers they have the freedom to choose for themselves.  And it is a different choice than I would have chosen for them at this stage in their lives, but that is part of letting go. 

So now, 16 years after the birth of my first born, I am kind of doing an about face.  The daughters that I swore would never go to school, will both be in school this fall.  My kids are exactly where I didn't want them to be.  Isn't that funny?  

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.  

~Author Unknown~

Public Schooling Stifles Kids' Free Will

A friend in an online chat group recently sent along a great link. Here's what she said about it:

A local unschool dad had a letter to the editor published as a guest column in the Atlanta paper. He is part of a group that is working to rescind compulsory education.

This article gives a great explanation of why public school is so harmful to our children. He also gives one of the best definitions of unschooling that I have seen. Definitely worth a few minutes of your time if A: You think there are problems with public school and B: You want to know why I unschool my kids.

Public schools stifle kids’ free will

My Daughter Made a YouTube Video

And being the proud mom that I am, I have to share it. I had no idea, but Catherine worked on this most of the day. It's her first attempt at putting together a video. I think it's sweet. BTW, she is self-taught on this whole making a video thing, I have no idea how to do it. Unschooling at it's best!

Here's the story, which is good to know before watching the video:

Story:
Cliff is singing about his daughter Jill, who is growing up and (Eventually) getting married to Skye. (No, Jill is not Cliffs daughter, this only exists in my Vids.)

That was in Catherine's words. The pictures are people from Harvest Moon, the video game. (I didn't know who they were either, but it's still cute : )

Momentous Occasions

Graduation is only a concept. In real life every day you graduate. Graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life. If you can grasp that, you'll make a difference.
~Arie Pencovici~

My oldest daughter recently "graduated" 8th grade. I put graduated in quotes because she didn't really graduate from anything. Our homeschool co-op holds a graduation ceremony at the end of the year for 8th grade and high school graduates. Carley was technically an 8th grader this year, so she technically graduated. Since we consider ourselves eclectic learners, or life learners or unschoolers or whatever you want to call us, we didn't really have anything to graduate from. She didn't finish a curriculum, we don't do curriculum. We don't consider learning to ever stop and start, we learn all the time. Try to go an entire day and not learn something. We all learn something everyday whether we acknowledge it or not. Can't watch the news or read a newspaper without learning something. So that's how we live and learn everyday.

So with that in mind, Carley participated in a graduation ceremony at our co-op. There was only one other girl graduating 8th grade, so it was short and sweet. It was part of other closing ceremony activities, but the graduation came last. After Carley was introduced, her parents (John and I), had the chance to say some things about her. I talked about her accomplishments, how we have always tried to support her in all of her endeavors, about how we unschooled and Carley was able to lead her own learning. I also mentioned how it seemed just like yesterday that she graduated from her Montessori Kindergarten. And yes, I almost cried. I also mentioned that she had decided to send herself to high school next year, and how much I will miss having her home. Her father talked about how she has tenacity and determination and usually follows through on things she sets her mind out to do. It was all quite lovely actually. I wasn't sure I wanted to participate at first, I am not one for ceremony for the sake of ceremony. Carley wasn't even sure she wanted to participate, but in the end I am glad we did. I think it will be a nice memory for her to have.

Here are some pictures for your perusal:

This is before we left the house:


Here is the table we set up with a short history of Carley's life (pictures and accomplishments):


Here she is on stage waiting for her turn to"'graduate" (a little blurry, youngest dd was in charge of the camera):

Here she is with her cake (we had a small reception afterwards):

And one with Sam, the other graduate (and a good friend):


All in all, a happy night and judging by the smiling faces, one that everyone will remember.

What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.
~Eleanor Powell~

Kindergarten

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.
~Stacia Tauscher~

I belong to several yahoo chat groups on unschooling. We have recently been discussing this article: Kindergarten Cram. If you don't feel like going to the link, the gist of it is Kindergartner's are now suffering through homework and testing. Egads!

Kindergarten is from the German meaning children's garden. What does one think of when they think of a child's garden? I know I think of trees and flowers and children running and playing, maybe stopping to pick and smell of the flowers, maybe trying to climb some of the trees. Maybe chasing each other and playing tag, or even having a picnic. I certainly don't think of little bodies stuffed into desks listening to some teacher drone on and on about their next testing session.

When I was old enough for Kindergarten both of my parents worked. I went to a normal public school Kindergarten (PS 98 in NYC) for about 3 weeks before my mother realized she could not work with the 1/2 day schedule. I don't remember too much about it other than the 2 1/2 hours going by very quickly. I don't remember going outside much, but it was right in the heart of Manhattan, so I can see why.

After realizing Kindergarten wouldn't work for me, I was put into a daycare center. I loved it there. I was in the class with the other "big" kids. Those of us who should have been in Kindergarten but weren't. I remember being one of the first kids dropped off in the morning and one of the last picked up at the end of the day. But I didn't mind it too much, I had a lot of fun there.

Those of us who were early arrivals got to eat breakfast at the center. I remember they used to let me eat bowls of peanut butter for breakfast. No one thought it was weird, no one shamed me, they just let me eat my bowl of peanut butter. I also remember they had a big table that they filled with sand in the cold months and water in the warmer months. Sand and water fun INSIDE! How cool was that! We used to make our afternoon snack together in the mornings, sometimes pudding, sometimes cookies. It was a fun thing to look forward to each morning knowing we would get to eat our creations that afternoon. We had our own cubbies and our own pillow and blanket for our nap time each afternoon. No one forced us to nap, if we weren't sleepy we just needed to have quiet time. Thinking back on all of this, I can't help but think that maybe some of my unschooling tendencies were quietly planted in my little head while at this daycare center. I think for 1973 they were definitely ahead of their time in their approach to children. But it was NY.

Finally, my most favorite memory of this center was the roof. Being NY, land is a premium and while there are plenty of parks, not too many were at schools, especially small private daycare centers. So they put a big chain link fence around the roof and built a huge playground up there. We had slides and swings and monkey bars and see saws and a sand box and it was all on the roof. And we got to go up there twice each day. Once in the morning and once after lunch. Even in the snow. I don't remember having to sit and "learn" something everyday while there, but I am sure learning took place. It was just in such a fun and free environment it happened naturally. Imagine that, learning being fun!

My own girls went to Montessori for Kindergarten. Montessori is also a very free environment. My girls loved it there. They too got to bake and create and go outside and just be kids in that environment. Their teachers were loving and genuinely cared about each child. That is what Kindergarten should be. I actually would prefer that Kindergarten didn't exist. Had I known about homeschooling/unschooling when my girls were little, they might not have gone to Montessori, but I can at least rest in knowing that by going I did them no harm. I am very glad I didn't subject them to public school Kindergarten, at least not what passes for Kindergarten today. Parents need to take back the schools. They need to do what is in the best interest of their children. Children need to play, they need to observe the world around them, they need to get outside and be in touch with nature. They don't need to be stuffed into desks in airless classrooms listening to some person who just wants to make it through her day drone on and on about meaningless drivel. Let our little ones be free. I can dream can't I?

You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again.
~Jean-Jacques Rousseau~

What is Really Important?

My youngest daughter (Catherine) has been funny lately. It's like she suddenly realized how the world works and knows we tend not to live the "normal" way.

Last fall I taught a class at our homeschool co-op on painters and styles. One of the subjects was Jackson Pollock. I took the classes into the parking lot of the church where we meet and got them large pieces of paper and buckets of different colored paints and sticks and brushes and they went to town, a la Jackson Pollock. It was so much fun. I made a few paintings myself. It was such a free way of doing art. One didn't have to think about an end result, the art was in the doing.

Recently Catherine asked me if she could "Jackson Pollock" one of the walls in her room. I told her she'd need to clean it out a bit, so we could move all the furniture so she could have access to the one wall, and how we'd have to get some drop cloths to cover everything so she could splatter away. She laughed at my answer. She knows that not one of her friends would ever be allowed to do that in their rooms. She marveled that I didn't even bat an eye or give it a second thought. And why should I? It's her room. She wants to do art in her room. How cool is that? Currently she paints and draws on her walls, mostly by her bed. She has been using black, which I know will be a bit tough to cover, but when you walk into her room, you can see her personality all over the walls. I love that she knows she has the freedom to be herself in her room.

Another example: A few days ago Catherine was complaining about her hair. She wants to get it cut. We have been bartering haircuts with our neighbor whose dog we care for when she flies (she's a flight attendant). I haven't been able to set up an appt. for Catherine's hair, so she was complaining about it. And so she asked me if she could just cut it off. I told her she could, but she might not be happy with the results. She looked at me and laughed. She did not expect me to say she could cut her hair off. It's her hair and it's ONLY hair. Go ahead, cut it off. If it looks horrible, we'll just try to hurry that appt. along with the neighbor. She decided against cutting her own hair, but she genuinely appreciated that I didn't care if she did.

Why do some parents choose to control their children just for the sake of control? Who cares if kids paint their walls or cut their hair? I watch families a lot when I am out. I am always amazed at the battles I see going on between kids and parents. And so much of it is over the most trivial things. What shoes to buy, what jeans to wear, etc. I think it's just common sense to give kids respect, to listen to their opinions and feelings. I certainly wasn't raised that way myself, my parents would have killed me if I had drawn on my walls or cut my hair. I see a lot of sad kids in my day to day travels. Teens/tweens who are just beginning to have a sense of who they are away from their parents and yet they have no ability to control anything in their lives. They aren't allowed to voice an opinion or able to make the smallest or even the biggest of decisions. My eldest daughter has made the decision to go to high school next year. Some fellow homeschoolers are frowning on me for "allowing" her to make that decision. I'm not the one going to school, who else should be allowed to make that decision. She will be 14 1/2 when she enters high school. Isn't that old enough to decide for oneself?

What is the magic age of allowing children some autonomy over their lives? How about from birth? Listening to a babies cries and responding accordingly is letting them make decisions. I was never that parent that let a baby cry. They cried for a reason and I listened. As toddlers they got to to pick their own clothes and choose what foods to eat. As my kids got older they got to decide (age appropriately) what they needed. We did the family bed with our girls. At 5 years of age, Carley decided she wanted her own room. At 8 Catherine still shared a room with us (she had her own bed by then). People found it odd that I shared a room with my 8 year old. I wasn't about to force her to leave, she had the right to choose what she was comfortable with. At 10 she moved into her own room and loves it. I've never had night issues with my kids, nor sleep issues, because I've allowed them to make choices for themselves.

Too many people have stuck in their minds the way they thing things "should" be. Who said things need to be a certain way? I say make up your own rules. Live a life of joy and love instead of rules and boundaries. Be free.

I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom.
~Simone de Beauvoir~

Quotes To Make You Think

An online friend, Carma, has made a squidoo page with some excellent quotes. It's a long page, but they are all worth reading, which is why I am linking to it here. I strongly encourage you to take a look : )

A Slice of Unschooling

A lot of people don't get this whole unschooling thing. It's really all about child led learning. Let something spark their interest, and then let the child run with it as far as they wish to take it. Something funny happened at my house today, that looked like a slice of unschooling to me, so I thought I'd share.

My eldest daughter (Carley) asked for and received a game for her DS system for Christmas called Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney. You play as Phoenix Wright he is a defense attorney. I haven't explored much about the game, other than watching Carley play it. She has to gather clues, come up with some kind of defense and go into a courtroom and defend her client. Part of the game is yelling things into the speaker of the DS system, so in the last week I would often hear her yelling "Objection" while playing her game.

Well youngest daughter (Catherine) decided she wanted to play the game too. Thankfully her sister was willing to share. So Catherine has been playing the game for the last few days. Today, Carley and I were sitting in the living room watching TV and we could hear Catherine yelling things in her room. We knew she was playing the game. But imagine our surprise when we opened the door to her room. There she was sitting on her bed, surrounded by her animal court. She had used quite a few of her stuffed animals to lay out the game. She had her defendant (poor little Coconut, of American girl fame), the State's Attorney, the Judge, the witness's and the jury all laid out on her bed. With stuffed animals playing every role. She said it was a visual aid helping her with the game. It was really cute.

Now, to some, I suppose that would seem like no big deal. To some they would think she is just wasting her time playing a mindless video game. But she is learning all about the court system. She knows about defense attorneys and how to build a case to defend their client. And she knows what a State's Attorney is and how they actually function in a court. She knows when to yell "Objection" in defense of her client. She knows who will be a good witness and who won't. She has a sudden interest in knowing things about our legal system. I heard her ask her sister what a Paralegal does. She thought it might be interesting to be one when she gets older. She found something interesting (the game) and it has sparked a desire in wanting to know more. Imagine that. And some people think unschooling doesn't work : )

Being a "Christian"

God does not lead all His servants by one road, nor in one way, nor at one time; for God is in all things; and that man is not serving God aright, who can only serve Him in his own self-chosen way.

~ John Tauler~

After writing my last post I got to thinking. Here is part of my dilemma: I feel as if I am not Christian enough for my Christian friends, and am too Christian for my non-Christian friends. I am a sinner, I know that. I have accepted the Lord and feel I am saved. I don't try to shove it down people's throats everywhere I go. I am not afraid for my children to mix and mingle with "non-Christians". I'm not sure where I stand on creationism. I do believe God created the world, not sure I believe it word for word how the Bible says it happened. I believe Catholics are Christians. (I know a lot of Christians who don't). I am not teaching my daughters that they have to submit to a man. I want them to be respected and be equals. If THEY should choose a relationship where they want to be submissive (I hope they don't personally), I want it to be their choice, not because MAN has interpreted the Bible his way and tells them they must submit to be a "Good Christian Wife". I don't teach my children that they must obey me and not question. I don't tell them them they don't have the right "heart" if they do something begrudgingly. I try to treat them as equals, because that is how I see them. They are people, just like me. I am not greater than they are, and I don't believe the Bible says I am. I don't believe "spare the rod" means to beat your children. I don't believe there is any place in the Bible that commands parents to hit their children. I could go on and on, but you must get my point. These are issues than can really divide some Christians.

So as I continue to wander in the desert, I need to figure out what I do truly believe and what I don't. Some would tell me to just believe every single thing written in the Bible. But do they really mean that? Do they really think everything written in the Old Testament is meant to be interpreted and applied literally to today? Some people say the New Testament trumps the old, some say the entire book is meant to be followed. It seems no matter how well schooled, no matter how Holy people feel they are, many people interpret the Bible in different ways. Even among Christians there are many schools of thought regarding the meanings in the Bible. Maybe one doesn't need schooling to figure it all out. (What an unschooley thought : ) Maybe one just needs to open their heart and have the Lord speak directly to them. Which is what I am trying to do in my desert.

A rule I have had for years is: to treat the Lord Jesus Christ as a personal friend. His is not a creed, a mere doctrine, but it is He Himself we have.

Dwight L. Moody 1837-1899, American Evangelist

YOU HOMESCHOOL!!!!!!

I've had that comment thrown at me occasionally. Usually said in utter disbelief that 1) I thought I was capable or qualified to do such a thing or 2) What am I crazy? Wanting my kids around 24/7?

BTW, I hate the term "homeschool". If I wanted to do "school at home" I might as well put my girls in school. We don't do "school at home". We don't sit around the table with a pile of books in front of us and spend 45 mins on math and then we must do 45 mins of reading and then we must do 45 of science etc, etc. ad nauseam!!!!! Barf! I apologize to those of you who may do "homeschool" that way. But it is just not for us.

Unfortunately, we did start out that way. I didn't know any better. My girls started in Montessori, which I and they loved. By the time my eldest was a 2nd grader and my youngest was in K, I knew the costs of Montessori were more than we could handle. I could have gone back to work full-time and still not been able to pay the tuition. So "homeschooling" seemed like the next best thing. In Montessori kids are allowed the freedom of movement. They don't have desks like the public school. They have "work" they need to accomplish, but they can do it in whatever order they wish, and spend as much time as needed. Of course they still had the requisite gym, art and music classes, and those were on timetables. But the school was run completely counter to how they run the public schools. So I knew in order to continue fulfilling my girls ideal learning environment, the public schools were not for us.

But I knew nothing of "homeschooling". So of course, the experts (aka, other "homeschooling" moms) told me how it should be done. "You must get the "right" curriculum". "You must spend at least 5 hours a day on school". "You must have a schedule". Blah, blah, blah!!!!

It took me 3 or 4 months into our first year to realize this system was not for us. My girls and I spent the rest of that first year doing unit studies with library books. But next September, I was at it again. "Must have been the wrong curriculum" I thought, "this year will be better." Not! By Christmas we were once again ready to throw the curriculum out the window!

Around this time I started exploring unschooling. Such a controversial word, such a revolutionary way of learning! I spent most of the summer after our 2nd year of "homeschooling" reading everything I could get my hands on by John Holt and John Taylor Gatto. Wow! How come I had never heard of these guys before? How come this stuff isn't in the hands of every parent with children trapped in the system? It all made sense. It explained my feelings as a child trapped in the system. I actually did really well in school until around 8th grade. Then I got bored. And tired of being told what to do. And tired of doing the same things over and over even though I had already acquired the knowledge. As time went on in high school, I grew more and more resentful of being trapped in that building all day and treated so poorly. They talked about preparing us for adulthood, while treating us like small children. Being told what to do and when to do it. Even getting drinks of water and going to the bathroom were regulated by the "teachers". It was about crowd control. Nothing I did in high school prepared me for adulthood. If anything it prevented me from becoming a better adult.

So after reading books that validated what I already felt about the school system, I felt more than prepared to chart a new way for me and my girls. The last few years we have been learning through living. Another label I don't really care for, but the best way to explain it. We just live our lives and learn. Everyday is a new chance to grow and learn something new. Even adults learn something new everyday. I think I have learned more in the last 20 years out of school than I ever learned in school. And it was all self motivated, I wanted to learn. I sought out the information, found books, people (or the internet) with the knowledge, and learned it.

My girls have become experts on how to teach themselves. They know how to research, they know where to go to find what they need, or they know who to ask to help them reach their goals (usually me at this time : ) My youngest has begun drawing and building little homes for her small stuffed animals (Pokemon actually!) Her entire room has a become somewhat of an interior design studio. I didn't tell her to do it or teach her how. She enjoys it, so she does it. She has learned how to use space effectively, she has learned to sew blankets and clothes for her animals. She has learned how to combine colors for the best look. She is enamoured with all things Japanese. She has gone online and taught herself Japanese words. She asked for an Ocarina for her b-day, and has begun to teach herself to play it. She wanted to learn about poetry so we went to the library and got poetry books. I didn't "teach" her how to write poetry, she just read some classic poems. Then she wrote some, and they are wonderful considering she is only 11 and was never "taught" how to write poetry. My eldest is also into all things Japanese. She started going to an Anime club at our library. They view Anime and get to vote on whether or not the library should buy the video. The democratic process in action. She reads Manga. She know the difference between Manga for girls and Manga for boys. She also knows some Japanese. She runs online stores at Neopets and Subeta. She earns money (cyber money) and sells and buys items (real world math anyone?) She is a gamer, which uses many critical thinking skills. She can out game any girl she knows : ) She goes to a game night at the library and is usually the only girl there. I think she is comfortable in any situation, because she is comfortable with herself. She hasn't had to put up with the "mean girls" or feel like she can't be who she is or she won't fit in. I wonder why there aren't any other girls at the game nights? Could it be they are afraid of what others may think? My eldest is also a voracious reader. She reads about a book a day. I have never had to tell her to to read. She just loves it. So much can be learned by reading a wide variety of books.

I am not worried about my girls, although others think I should be. I am an anomaly in the world I am in. We go to a Christian co-op. I am the only unschooler there. Most people, at least other Christians believe unschooling to be wrong. It gives the children too much freedom. Children shouldn't have freedom, right? They need to be controlled and told what to do so that when they grow up they can find jobs and be good little worker bees and do what their superiors tell them too. Or if they are girls, they need to learn to submit and do what their husbands tell them to. GAG!!!!!! (Sorry again, if I offend, these are just my own humble opinions, what works for you just may not work for me).

I want to raise THINKERS. I want to raise girls who can solve problems, and think about solutions. I want to raise girls who are HAPPY. I have wandered aimlessly the last 20 years since graduating high school. I was never given direction or allowed the opportunity to pursue what I wanted to do. I had a lot of different dreams as a child. Most were shot down by the powers that be as unattainable, irresponsible, unrealistic. So I became complacent and didn't know what I wanted to "be". So I really became nothing. Sure I am a wife and mom now, and I wouldn't trade that for anything at the moment. But my girls will move on, hopefully into happy meaningful lives. I am hoping in the process of unschooling with them, I have begun to unschool myself. May we all together grow and become what we were meant to be, in the freedom of teaching of ourselves.

Meanwhile, education--compulsory schooling, compulsory learning--is a tyranny and a crime against the human mind and spirit. Let all those escape it who can, any way they can.~John Holt Instead of Education