06 September 2008


Last night for whatever reason my girls and I got on the subject of high school yearbooks. They asked me if I had any. "Yes, I do, and you have seen them before" was my reply. "We don't remember looking at your yearbooks" was their reply. So off we went to hunt down my high school memories.

I have a ratty old chest that I keep old stuff in. It's like a cardboard box covered in a vinyl/plastic that has metal reinforcements and a lock. It's all dented in and the lock has been broken for some time. That's where I keep my memories. (hmm, should the container tell me something?)

Anyway, first out came the yearbooks. We spent some time laughing at how goofy I looked 22-26 years ago. Then my girls spied my prom dress, which was also folded up in my box. They wanted to try it on. Now I have to tell you, when I was in high school I always thought I was fat. There were such teeny tiny skinny girls in my high school, and they were the ones all the boys were always after. I was always on a diet and my self esteem was pretty low. At 16, when I went to prom, I was 5'6" tall and about a size 8.

So my 13 year old puts on my prom dress. At first we can't even get it zippered. I already know her bust is way bigger than mine ever was. But she is a slim girl, she has a very nice balanced figure. We finally get it on and it it fits, almost perfectly. She is currently only 5'3", so it was a little long. But it fit!

After trying on my prom dress, they wanted to try on my gym shorts, which for some reason I also saved. Those fit my 13 year old as well.

After we were done looking at my past and fighting over the color of my prom dress, (when I bought it they called it Dusty Rose, my girls kept saying "It's Pink!" ), I got to thinking.

I spent so many years belittling myself. I never thought I was good enough in high school. Not popular enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough. And here I am 25 years later, and my 13 year old, whom I view as beautiful and having a figure to die for, can fit into my old prom dress and gym shorts.

I am hopeful that my own daughters will not suffer the same low self-esteem as I. Maybe they have learned not to judge themselves against others, but on who they are instead. I think homeschooling has helped. They haven't been around girls who like to tell other girls how they look or how they should look. Girls who think no one is perfect unless you are like them.

As I start my 40's I am so much more confident at this time in my life than I ever have been before. Wisdom with age I suppose. I wonder how different my life and experiences would have been had I enjoyed this confidence when I was 16?

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
~Dr. Seuss~


Stephanie said...

I hear ya!
great quote too!

Donna said...

You know, I like that quote so much I may just have to put it in my sidebar : )